It’s called Frustrated Writer’s Syndrome.
While that particular picture is not me, per se, it is a fair representation of how I feel some days. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love writing and as I said in a previous post, I have always held some deep seated desire to write. However, when F.W.S. hits me, I wonder if perhaps I have also some kind of masochistic seed growing inside as well. “Writing” is fun. I enjoy it. I love coming up with new ideas and spend a lot of time bouncing said new ideas off my poor husband, Robert. He can often take my idea and expand it making it fit more logically. I don’t know what I would do without his help. I also love going back over my text and tweaking it. Expanding an idea until it becomes a better fit to the whole puzzle of the story line is probably my favorite portion of the whole “writing” process.
You may ask yourself what is the least favorite then? I’m glad you asked. The part that I don’t like the most is the actual process of putting my thoughts down in words. It’s not because I’m lazy about it, but rather that they move so fast that I have a hard time keeping up and that makes me frustrated. I’ve thought about maybe getting one of those talk to write programs for my computer but I’m being stubborn about it. They are my thoughts! Surely I can control them!!
Ha! The little devils have a mind of their own and are in cahoots with my computer.
Anyway, back on subject.
Frustrated Writer Syndrome is a real thing and I get it in buckets. I can have a whole particular chapter all planned out exactly how I want to write it, sit down at my laptop and freeze. It’s like the screen has sucked my brilliant ideas right out of my noggin. I can almost see them drawn into the little beast and a tongue being stuck out. “Neener Neener!”
Face meet keyboard. ARGH!!
Sometimes I can just get up and walk away. If I don’t let it know I’m upset, perhaps it will relax its grip on my creativity and I can get started. If I can get started, maybe I can get finished! Sounds like a grand plan. However, like most truly inspirational ideas, there lacks a certain amount of follow through and commitment. Instead I sit there staring at the empty page feeling my frustration grow like fungus on that forgotten piece of bread in the back of the cupboard.
One time, I actually managed to get up and walk away, thumbing my nose at that white blank screen. I have other important things to do. Things that won’t leave the imprint of my keyboard embedded in my forehead. Ha! How do you like that?
My little jaunt away ended in a three week sabbatical away during the middle of Shattered Dreams. I just couldn’t face getting back to writing when I had no grand ideas to put down. Finally, I admitted my mistake and apologized to the empty paper and in reward, my stopped up imagination finally let loose. I was writing again!
So that leaves me here now, procrastinating, as that blank page is again staring me down. It knows it has my bluff and I’ll soon give in, put on my earphones, get lost in the sounds of nature and begin begging for it to release my imagination
If I can get things rolling again and my thoughts become unclogged, I’ll throw them all down and sort everything out later. And after all, that is my favorite part.
Then again, I haven’t hit the whole submission part yet.